Beware of the Hodagers

Well it is that time of the year again. The Hodag Country Music Festival begins next week. I can already smell the campfires, hear the music, feel the oppressive heat, and of course endure the hurt of Monday morning. I've never been a huge country music fan but this festival is so much fun that it doesn't really matter. The people make this a good time not the music. Of course, sitting over a cooler of beer doesn't make for a bad time either.

This year I have embarked on a rigorous training program to get myself in shape for the festivities. The training program that I have designed, after many hours of research, focuses on those activities that require the most concentration and physical stamina. This program has a patent pending so please me lots of money if you read any further:

1. Start listening to lots of country music to help ween me back into that genre.


2. Drink a lot more booze to make sure my tolerance is safely within the recommended range.


3. Begin walking around during the hottest times of the day to ensure that I'm acclimated to temperatures above 90 and that my sweat glands are in good working order.


4. Work on bouncing ping pong balls into cups to enhance my concentration and dexterity.


5. Start yelling 'Happy Hodag!' to random strangers and at awkward times to help increase my social acceptance.

For any Hodag Virgins please refer to their website for further information: http://www.hodag.com/.

Hate and other fun topics

I'm having lunch with a friend (aka "John Smith") when he tells me that the company he works for asked him if he would go work on a new project with a particular client. Nothing unusual with the request, John had just rolled off another project and was looking for something new and exciting. So what's the catch, you ask?

The client is one of the hate groups that hide behind religious doctrine, twisting and warping biblical phrases to fit their agenda. They pour millions of dollars into keeping their "warm and fuzzy" messages out in the mainstream. Of course they say lots of "don't knockdown your neighbor's door and beat him senseless when his stupid dog shits all over your front lawn but try to talk to him" messages. However, they fill those with lots of socially conservative messages that seeks to stigmatize and alienate segments of the population.

So what? It is just a job so you do it. Well John has chosen a lifestyle that puts him into one of those segments of the population that this client is targeting. While John doesn't make his lifestyle an issue he also doesn't hide it so anyone who has had a few conversations with him will understand this. I'm fairly confident that the person who asked him to work for the client knew this about John.

Some questions that are rattling through my brain: How do you ask someone to do this? Are you seriously thinking they might actually take the role? Wouldn't every client meeting be slightly awkward for everyone? The one motivation that I could understand is if you just wanted to see their reaction, kind of like an experiment, something Stanley Milgram would be proud of. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment] [Note: the only other things I remember from my college psych courses are that you can train a dog to drool and a monkey to love a doll. Great lessons for life and money well spent.]

Moments

Those moments right before you check your email, before you've finished that first cup of coffee, before you've had time to remember the societal context you're living within.

Those moments are always full of wonder. You notice things that you would normally never see, hear, smell, or think. There is a clarity and a newness in everything.

Those moments never last very long, a few minutes to maybe an hour. Then the noise of the day gets louder, and louder, until you are off on another crazy adventure, the moments forgotten until tomorrow morning.

Home Sweet Home

This week was spent at the Chatfield State Park. The views were great and once I got the hang of depositing quarters into the shower before the water stopped, the experience was great. I went for a couple of loooooooong rides, a hiking meander that took a few hours, and really enjoyed watching the sun set next to a campfire each night.

Unfortunately the Internet was raging so I had to also work. I was hoping for a relaxed week but that didn't happen. The client was finally able to get their vendor to build out a stable production environment. Delivery occurred during another Mock Data Conversion which was reason for the not so relaxed week. These conversions can be hell because you are basically setting a new system each time. They are a time consuming hell with periods of stressful "waiting". The PM wanted to push us to do 2 mock conversions so we would get more practice. This would have completely burnt out the team for very little gain. However, after meeting with the client they agreed that it wasn't necessary. At least the client is understanding, I'm still a little irked that the PM, who works for the same consulting company as I, would push for both conversions but I'm not surprised anymore.

I finally got my review for this current beast of a project. I was sort of disappointed, considering the level of effort I've had to sustain during the past 6-7 months. However, it did get me to start thinking of what I want to do in the future. I'm beginning to realize I need to start exploring my options.

On Friday, as I was leaving the park I noticed a pair of hot air balloons traversing the sky. It was during rush hour so it got me wondering if they were on their way to work. Could you imagine what that commute would be like? Drinking your Starbucks, munching on a bagel, and peacefully floating with the winds. I don't think you could ever have a bad if you started every morning with that kind of commute. Maybe you did have a bad day at work but on the return commute (yes, the wind would perfectly reverse itself at 5pm...my dream, not yours) you could carry a pail of water balloons. Instance bad day fix! ooooooooooooooo, yeah!

Fluffy Pillow

I've gotten soft. Today as I was working at various Starbucks, parking lots, and side streets, I realized that I feared the next phase of my plan. I've been stressing about going from "Club Level Hotel Dweller" back to where my soul fits, "Grubby Camper". First, it was too cold, then too wet, then too much hassle, blah,blah,blah. However, I'm a stubborn bastard when it really matters and I eventually made it to one of the metro area state parks.

Once I got out here, pitched the tent, and went for a 3 hour meander, I realized how foolish I had been. The amount of wildlife I saw amazed me considering how close this park is to the city. However, it was the all the different birds, with all their amazing songs, that captured me. I don't think I have heard that many singing birds since I was a kid living in the Midwest. I'm still in awe...