Oh Joy!

Once again, I gave a valiant effort in attempting to conquer the GABF[http://www.greatamericanbeerfestival.com/]. If you like beer, good(Oskars) or bad(Coors), this festival is one of the biggest in the country. I did pass on a lot of the crap beers (Shiner, really?) and I began getting picky towards the end, only choosing medal winners. The festival was smoothly run as always considering there are thousands of people trying to sample over 1800 beers. The lines weren't that long unless you were trying to use the restrooms, which I learned several years ago to never use since it can take over 15 minutes to get inside.

TIP: There is a smoking area right outside that has over a hundred Porto-potties which are never full. In order to use them you just need to walk through the haze of smoke, small price to pay for not peeing yourself.

Some improvements from previous years:

1. Strung pretzels on Mardi Gras beads! Yeah, I FINALLY remembered to do this. For the past several years I would see all these people with necklaces of pretzels and think, 'Damn that is a great idea.' but of course I would forget the following year. Not this time, oh no, I had 2 necklaces with big giant pretzels. Of course I lost half of them to drunk people knocking them off, no it wasn't my fault. LOL.

2. Stayed in hotel. Not only didn't I have to drive (hahahaha) but I didn't even have to try to make it home. Of course I do think that this contributed to the amount of beer that I consumed but at least no one else was in any danger from my foolishness. This also caused me to spend a LOT more money even though the hotel room was free. Room service is waaaaaay too convenient...

"How much were the 2 beers?"
"20.36, sir. Including tax."
"WTF? Do I get a lap dance with that?"

3. We got pulled over on the ride back from the festival! Not only was this entertaining but it also offered the potential for more debauchery (notice the use of the term 'more'...however the Man Code demands I keep silent)...yadda, yadda...I did have my souvenir cup confiscated by an overzealous bouncer, bastard.
Anyways, after leaving the festival I was able to hail a cab downtown. I'm pretty sure this is the first time that has ever happened. Usually they are all full or the cabbie decides he might find a richer fare. Well not this time! The cab driver takes the scenic route and is about half-way when the interior of the car is lit up with blue flashes. At first, I feel the familiar panic as the cabbie pulls over but then I realize that neither my friend or I are driving. Woo Hoo! One of Denver's finest walks up to the car and asks the cabbie if he had been drinking. The cabbie denies it (of course) and is taken outside to perform the super-fun roadside sobriety test. At this point, I can't help laughing...

"Of all the cabs we get the drunk one? Damn it. What are we going to do?"
"How about, if he arrests the cabbie we walk to that strip club about a block down the road."
"Oh, that is a great plan."
"Dude we don't have to pay the fare if the cabbie is drunk, right?"
"Naw, they can't make us pay that since I could have drove drunk for free. We can use it for the cover charge and a couple drinks."
"Oh hell yeah!"

Unfortunately the officer walks the cabbie back to the car and says when he pulled him over he smelled a strong odor of alcohol. "Oh Officer that's us!" (I'm a helper!) The officer ignores my statement of fact and lets the cabbie go. Ahhhh...

Anyways, it was a great time and I'm looking forward to next year when I hopefully will remember to wear a costume. Nothing too obnoxious, maybe just a big afro wig (yellow, orange, or red), some clown shoes, and BIGGER pretzels!

The Grind

Yeah, OK, so it is that time of year again. The flash ads have begun sprouting up everywhere on the Internet, replacing the Singles ads on Facebook...

Tangent: Why do all the woman on these ads have really HUGE breasts? Do they think I'm stupid or something? I know those woman are just models with implants and aren't registered on the sites. Geez...oh snap, did I click that ad. Hmm, ok, I'll sign up. Ahhh, dammit!

...um, er, so anyways, I've recently picked up a new gaming rig and downloaded all the latest games. Thanks, EB! (obscure reference that only other avanaughts should recognize).

Tangent: It is soooooo nice to be able to go out and buy a bunch of games whenever I want. Some people think a job is for paying the mortgage/car lease/house crap, but NOOOOOO! A job is for paying for fun shit. Otherwise I don't see the point in having a job since it takes time away from having fun and isn't that whole point anyways? Oh god, if the whole point is to just make money to pay for boring shit (i.e. mortgage, car lease, house crap, etc.) then the whole meaning of life just sucks ass! I'd rather go to Somalia and join the pirate fleets, pillaging all the stupid transport ships carrying cars and house crap for the world markets. Aye, make'em walk the plank, maties! Hmmm, I digress...

The games are fun for the first couple of days and then the GRIND (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grind_(gaming) )sets in. The Grind is what differentiates the casual gamer from the hard-core gamer. The Grind is the big giant waste of time that is required of all MMOs. The Grind is also why I usually stop playing a game. Ever since Everquest, the Grind has become an essential part of the genre. Why? I don't freaking know. Why can't the game be about the adventure and NOT the level progression? I don't care to get stronger armour so I can fight stronger NPCs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-player_character), which are the same NPCs I fought a level or two ago, but with different hair color and stronger armor. Freaking booooooooooring!

Why not create a MMO that does NOT have leveling? How about having no increases in character skills, levels, or attributes? You get what you are dealt with at the beginning and that is that (kind of like reality). Your skill progression is determined by the skill in which you, the dumb ass who forked over $50 for the game and $15/month service charge, learns to play the game over time. Period. Skill? WTF is that? Well, instead of clicking the same 3 buttons for combat, include a wide range of actions that can have different results in different circumstances. Doesn't that sound like more fun? Say if you try to carve up a troll with a butcher knife BUT the troll is coming at you with some crazy ass fireballs. Maybe you should put up a shield and grab a tankard of ale to douse them with, then impale the troll with your pocket knife. Then, you can finish the ale while roasting marshmallows over the smouldering troll, you know, to help you heal the damage from the troll's fireballs. The game then becomes about having FUN and game designers would need to focus on the story (i.e. plot, etc.) instead of the numbers game. Imagine that!

Since the MMOs are supposed to get people addicted and willing to pay the monthly fee for years, all the current games have the same leveling structure. Because of this, I've burnt through a few games already (Conan, Warhammer, Tabula Rasa) with a fourth on its way...Aion. At this rate I should be back outside (and in reality) before the snow begins to fall and the ski resorts re-open! Yea!

Settling In

After almost 5 months of living homeless, I have finally moved into an apartment.



I can't believe all the shit that I had in the storage shed. The amount of crap that I keep hauling from one place to another is simple ridiculous.



Insurance? For what, my piles of junk.



Books? Why the hell is there a big, super heavy box containing a full set of the World Book encyclopedia? I can't even guess the last time I used an actual book to reference something. Hell, I don't even remember when I actually kept a phone book around. Do people still use these reference materials? Damn, if it isn't online then it never existed. Maybe these books are for when the internet goes down, god forbid. Oh wait, I have backups...Comcast, Sprint Broadband, and the iPhone's AT&T Cell Data Plan. Maybe I don't need all these methods of getting online...



Anyways back to all those freaking books...maybe I should have a good old fashioned Farenheit 451 bonfire. Hmm, could be a reason to have a party. "Come on over, have a few drinks, and roast some marshmallows over the burning pile of books!" Yeah, no.

Love in Calgary

Today I checked into a low budget motel since I wanted to save some money. The motel looked ok from the street but that was an elaborate facade. Once I entered the room I knew what I had been duped. There was stains on all the chairs, inviting one to have a seat and relax. The numerous cracks on all the walls gave the room a cave-like atmosphere, which was very cozy compared to the pouring rain outside.

Anyways, after popping a PBR and turning the TV to a Family Guy marathon, I reclined on the bed and felt at home. That was until I heard the bed banging upstairs. Oh well, it only lasted for a few minutes. No worries. Then I hear a lot of movement in the room above and then the door opens and closes. I didn't pay much attention since Brian was in turmoil watching Lois's boobs grow because she was trying to ween Stewie off of breast milk. This show is so stupid that it is funny. Later, after Lois's boobs go back to normal I hear the upstairs door open and close, then there is a lot of movement around the room. Finally, after another 10 minutes I hear the bed banging again. I think, hmmm, someone must have taken a dose or two of Viagra. I decide to head out for a walk after the credits roll on the TV. When I finally return after maybe 30 minutes, all is quiet and now Quagmire is in love with Peter's maid for the week. I know how this is going to end and I'm sure it will offend some group or another. So by the time the show starts getting offensive (and good) I hear the upstairs door open and close again. I'm thinking, that they really like to go outside, maybe for a smoke or something.

So then after 15 minutes I hear the bed banging again. WTF? OH, yeah, I finally got it...my motel room is downstairs from a prostitute. Great, time for a few more PBRs. This gets me thinking, after the PBRs of course, but what would it be like to be a prostitute. I did catch a glimpse of her once from outside, she's probably early thirties but looks 60, possibly due to heavy drug use. So each day, she gets up in a rat-hole motel room and waits for the phone to ring. The Johns start arriving early in the morning (I found this out the next morning) and she then "entertains" these men for the rest of the day. I'd guess around 10-20 each day. I'm sure she takes a day off now and again but most days are probably spent in the motel room. I can only imagine how destructive this lifestyle is to her mental and physical state. Although I'd guess that some amount of drug use helps keep the reality of her life from her.

Yeah, so my time in Calgary was kind of depressing. I was very happy to head into Banff NP the next day. Maybe I should stick with camping in the forests and not venture into the cities very often.

Job Security

I remember the first time I worked at a company that had to lay people off. It was back in the pre-dot com bust era but you could see the writing on the wall. The day that it happened and I watched good people walk out the door I remember thinking I NEVER want that to happen to me. However, I was lazy and didn't actively seek another job and was finally laid off during round 4 of the company's lay offs. When it happened I was in shock and my self-esteem plummeted to an all-time low. I felt so useless, like everything I had ever done at the company had been a failure. It wasn't until after I had got a new job that I didn't feel useless anymore. I know, I know, it is just a job, but...I think that silly work ethic gets in the way sometimes.

Why am I thinking about this again? Well, my current company has laid off some folks again. I think this is the 5th or 6th time in the past 18 months that they have let people go. This time they laid off a few people that I know, one is even a friend. Luckily my friend didn't have any kids or family to support. I remember when I was a kid (13-14 yrs old) my Dad got laid off. My parents really insulated my sister and I from it but I could tell there was an elevated level of stress between my parents. My Dad eventually found something that gave him the opportunity to go to work for himself. Funny side note: A week or two later his old company asked him to come back, he refused. Years later, I think he was much happier to have left the company.

I really think that these things work out for the better in the end but knowing that doesn't help when you are in the situation. There is just the dread of not having any real money coming in and still having to pay all your bills. In addition, you suddenly have all this free time in which to ponder your situation.

Sigh...writing is on the wall, again.

Sleepy Time

My nap is over, I can hear the river again. Where I was, I don't know, but I'm back to the hammock, alongside the North Platte River. I look up between the branches of the trees and see a jet, marking its path, temporarily across the sky. Where are they going? Shouldn't I be up there on my way to the next project? No, not today. Today I'm here, in the moment, with no plan. Fish, hike, bike, read, or sleep.

Hmmm...sleepy time.

The YOUAREME Guy

Last night I decided to start my trip a day early by driving up to the Cache La Poudre Scenic river area. The drive up the Poudre Canyon was beautiful and helped to let my mind wander. I stopped at the second campsite I came to since there didn't seem to be that many people camping there. The fee ($17) was pretty hefty but I figured it would be nice to have water and a picnic table as I organized all my gear. After about an hour I had camp set up and everything organized, so I decided to take out my new toy. For a very long time I've wanted to learn how to play the guitar but for various reasons I never tried. So yesterday, as I was getting supplies for my trip I stopped in a music store and bought a cheap beginner's kit. So there I was, sitting in camp going through all the items in this kit but basically not touching the guitar because it looked rather intimidating, when my camping neighbor walks over. This guy is easily 6'6" tall, wearing a Fat Tire baseball cap, carrying a half empty box of wine, drinking out of a wine glass, and staggering just a little. "Hi, don't mind if I come over?" I said, "Of course not!". I'll talk to anyone, especially if they have a good story to tell. I quickly learn that not only does this guy have a story to tell but he also needs to tell it, so I listen.


"I have my own business installing window treatments but it has been really hard lately. The last 3 months of last year I did 40k in sales but the past 3 months of this year I've done $200. I keep sending out resumes looking for work but no one is hiring. There is one company that has some work but they are in South Carolina and I live in Ft. Collins. I don't know what to do but since I'm going to get divorced from my wife I'll probably take the job and move. I've never been to the east coast but I like to kayak and surf."

There is a lot there but I focus on the important issue..."Have you already filed for divorce?"

"Not yet. My wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2 but she kicked me out of the house and so I figure we'll probably get divorced." After some lighter conversation, he steers the focus back to his crisis. I then ask a very simple question: "Do you love her?"

"Oh YES! I still love her." Then I'm thinking why are you at a campsite drinking with a stranger when you should be at home, trying to work things out. Of course, he is adamant that he can't go back, so I'm sure he did something he regrets but that just makes the making up much more fun! Right? Well, I try to cheer the guy up and eventually tell him a shortened version of my story. blah, blah, blah...when he stands up and shouts, "YOU ARE ME!". Then he hits me on the arm and sits back down repeating, "You are me, 4 years in the future.". Um, ok, calm down have another drink. "Imagine the odds of meeting like this! Crazy." yeah, craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

After a couple more hits to the shoulder he asks me to hit him hard in the ribs. Huh? "yeah, hit me as hard as you can." No. "Go ahead, do it." I begin to think that I need to end our conversation and call it a night. Ok. "Harder" "No, harder." ...maybe I shouldn't have shared my Vodka with this guy.

Guy, "Hey where are you going?"
"North. Wyoming, Montana, and probably Canada."
"Can I go too?"
What? Um, how do I get out of this situation without any complications? "Sure but I'm leaving early in the morning."
"Great. I'll park my truck and you can drive."
WTF? "Um, you need to drive too since I may have to drive back to Denver if work calls."
"Oh, ok. See ya in the morning."
whew...
This morning I got up and quietly drove away. I felt bad but the guy was a little strange and had some anger issues. While I wish I could help him, the best thing for him would be to either go back home and work things out or head to South Carolina, not freak me out for the next few days in remote areas of Wyoming. Yeah, I still feel bad about it.

As I was driving away I thought about when I was in a similar situation and if everything had worked out for the best. My answer came almost immediately and I laughed to myself when I thought of all the things I wouldn't have been able to experience and all the new friends I wouldn't have taken the time to meet.

If the YOUAREME guy reads this post someday I just want to say it was good talking to you and I hope your difficulties quickly work themselves out.

Rat dogs must die!

Last weekend I drove to Lake City, CO for what has developed into an annual Man-cation. There usually aren't any strippers unfortunately, but we drink beer, talk smart, and bag a few peaks. This year was no exception, although instead of getting lost in the wilderness we kept to the forest 4x4 trails. The first 14er was Handies Peak and it was relatively easy.

On the way down from Handies Peak I was disgusted enough to have to share my experiences. First, there was the Father and Son team from Texas. They both were wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes, and very little wet weather protection. "Hey, do you think we could make it up? Is it safe with the storm coming in?" WTF? You are stupid and have no business hiking a mountain, even one as easy as this. But heh, I'm a big proponent of natural selection so I just reply "I dunno... watch those clouds." My hiking buddy puts in, "Its only 20 minutes to the saddle and then another 30 minutes to the peak. I'd do it if I was on the saddle". Yeah, I think he hates Texans.


We continued down as the rain turned to hail giving the grass and distance rock a nice wintry feel. I love being in the mountains when there is severe weather (as long as I'm prepared). Not more than 10 minutes after "guiding" the Father/Son team I feel a BIG FREAKING BOOM directly overhead. Oh shit...time to walk very fast down the mountain, thank god for trekking poles! The Father and Son team continue on up the mountain taking my friends advice and completely ignoring common sense. Oh well...

Later, after the sun had come out and instantly turned the hail into steam, I ran into a BBW from Texas carrying her little rat dog up the trail. The rat dog had a freaking coat on but was still shivering. I've never seen anything so pathetic and in need of euthanasia. WTF? Are you kidding me? Who the hell is breeding these abominations? If you need to put a coat on your dog during the summer and carry him 1/2 mile from the car then you need to put that thing to SLEEP, and I mean the BIG SLEEP. As we walked past, I turned to voice my disgust to my friend Shane, but he pointed and said "Keep walking". He guessed that we weren't quite out of earshot. Good thinking Shane. Then later, I see another BBW from Texas riding an ATV with her little rat dog in a compartment bolted to the front. I decide to have another ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon and just enjoy the scenery.

Disclaimer: So if you are from Texas don't get all offended since everywhere there are tourists, the locals make fun of them. At this very moment I'm sure there is a cheese head making fun of some F.I.B. because they were rude and obnoxious, and in Minnesota I can imagine all the jokes about the Iowegians.

Motels and Peep Shows

This morning I woke up at the Motel 6 thinking, "Why do I stay at these crappy motels?". Yeah, they are cheap but everything about them sucks. The TV screen is smaller than my laptop, the shower looks like some sort of peep show booth with stains included, the bed feels like a box spring w/ covers (has anyone actually slept under them? Sleeping bag required.), and of course the smell, hmmmmmm....why that just can't be described but must be experienced first hand. Of course, even though there is a desk I can't actually work in the box (oh the smell, just nasty) so after quickly showering I squeal my tires onto the road again. Destination? The closest Starbucks, where I can "camp" for the day in relative luxury and feel like a "normal" person.

After a few blissful hours of quietly documenting items that will never be read by anyone, my day is changes with a single phone call. "Um, er, is it bad if..." hahahahahah... yeah so the day turns into a debugging day filled with phone calls and online chats. Great, and all I can think about is how I have to roll off this project very soon. Of course this unmotivated myself to help solve the "is it bad if" problem.

The brain is basically an organ of the body and should just function on command. Unfortunately it doesn't unless given the proper motivation...how about "fuck you brain, if you don't perform then I won't feed you any porknbeans or vodka". Sometimes a little tough-love is needed to get results but it didn't seem to work in this case. The day dragged on until I finally said, "I'm done. Going to go find a campsite". Guess what happened? A super smart guy (not it) figured out the problem and came up with a resolution. Oh, hell yeah, sometimes the Team comes through!

As I ventured down the highway, hoping to get close to where some friends where camping the following night, I realized that I needed to stay relatively close to civilization so I could work in the morning. Well, about that time I saw a sign indicating National Forest access. I still had 3G and Sprint was blazing fast! After a few miles from the turn off, I found a campsite with an amazing view of the sunset over a city (Grand Junction, CO) and decided I had found my "motel 6" for the night. Of course, it was nothing like a motel 6. There was a big bright half crescent moon shining in the sky instead of a TV, area looked clean with no stains, the ground was soft, but most importantly, the air smelled sweet with cool with mountain breezes.

After setting up camp, getting a big comfy campfire raging, and feeding the brain, I realized I was more comfortable than I could ever be at a real motel 6, or any "box" actually. Men were made to live like this, stars overhead, crickets and frogs singing in earnest, and the warmth of fire wrapping them like a blanket, things a box can't really provide. Shouldn't I be tired of living like this yet?

My flashlight is the iphone

Today I drove to Buena Vista, CO with the naive hope that I could just forget about work and relax. Oh hell no! Anyways, after spending some quality time parked on the side of the highway, with the laptop on my knees, and the phone on dash, I continued on and finally reached my destination.
Once near where I wanted to camp I realized that I didn't have any camping gear. hahahahah. I only brought the tent, sleeping bag, golf clubs (to fend off the bears supposedly), and of course my new refurbished laptop with the working broadband card. Oh yes, I never leave home without my google and facebook!
So now I'm sitting in the dark, next to a raging fire, blogging about my total lack of preparation, hoping that my iPhone will provide enough illumination to get me to the tent, 50 feet away. How did I survive before the iPhone? I don't recall but it must have been a nightmare!

Fluffy bunnies and meat grinders

OMG! Today I am finally on freaking vacation and guess what I was planning to do this morning? I'm sooooooo sick. I need to get slapped around. My wonderful plan for this morning as I hung out in LA before flying out was:

1. Copy all my files to the backup drive.
2. Upgrade my laptop's OS to Windows Server 2008 RC2.
3. Build out a Window's 7 virtual image, with Visual Studio 2010 beta.
4. If I had time then maybe talk a walk on the beach.

WTF? I've turned into a freaking workaholic loser. Me, the guy who had a million hobbies and interests, now is reduced to building out OSes on his days off because that seems like a good idea. Oh great freaking idea! Dunzo. New plan:

1. Turn on auto responder for work email. (*Try to keep it civil...don't use "Hahahaha...you are working and I'm probably passed out in the hammock. Don't try to call me either since my phone doesn't get reception when I'm on vacation. I might be back in a week unless I get smart and quit this freaking job." - yeah, don't use that message *)
2. Shut down laptop.
3. Disable work email from iphone.
4. Shower (don't shave - start the "i'm-a-bum-and-i-don't-care" look).
5. Drive directly to the beach.

Yep, that's my new plan and its time to execute it!

Beware of the Hodagers

Well it is that time of the year again. The Hodag Country Music Festival begins next week. I can already smell the campfires, hear the music, feel the oppressive heat, and of course endure the hurt of Monday morning. I've never been a huge country music fan but this festival is so much fun that it doesn't really matter. The people make this a good time not the music. Of course, sitting over a cooler of beer doesn't make for a bad time either.

This year I have embarked on a rigorous training program to get myself in shape for the festivities. The training program that I have designed, after many hours of research, focuses on those activities that require the most concentration and physical stamina. This program has a patent pending so please me lots of money if you read any further:

1. Start listening to lots of country music to help ween me back into that genre.


2. Drink a lot more booze to make sure my tolerance is safely within the recommended range.


3. Begin walking around during the hottest times of the day to ensure that I'm acclimated to temperatures above 90 and that my sweat glands are in good working order.


4. Work on bouncing ping pong balls into cups to enhance my concentration and dexterity.


5. Start yelling 'Happy Hodag!' to random strangers and at awkward times to help increase my social acceptance.

For any Hodag Virgins please refer to their website for further information: http://www.hodag.com/.

Hate and other fun topics

I'm having lunch with a friend (aka "John Smith") when he tells me that the company he works for asked him if he would go work on a new project with a particular client. Nothing unusual with the request, John had just rolled off another project and was looking for something new and exciting. So what's the catch, you ask?

The client is one of the hate groups that hide behind religious doctrine, twisting and warping biblical phrases to fit their agenda. They pour millions of dollars into keeping their "warm and fuzzy" messages out in the mainstream. Of course they say lots of "don't knockdown your neighbor's door and beat him senseless when his stupid dog shits all over your front lawn but try to talk to him" messages. However, they fill those with lots of socially conservative messages that seeks to stigmatize and alienate segments of the population.

So what? It is just a job so you do it. Well John has chosen a lifestyle that puts him into one of those segments of the population that this client is targeting. While John doesn't make his lifestyle an issue he also doesn't hide it so anyone who has had a few conversations with him will understand this. I'm fairly confident that the person who asked him to work for the client knew this about John.

Some questions that are rattling through my brain: How do you ask someone to do this? Are you seriously thinking they might actually take the role? Wouldn't every client meeting be slightly awkward for everyone? The one motivation that I could understand is if you just wanted to see their reaction, kind of like an experiment, something Stanley Milgram would be proud of. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment] [Note: the only other things I remember from my college psych courses are that you can train a dog to drool and a monkey to love a doll. Great lessons for life and money well spent.]

Moments

Those moments right before you check your email, before you've finished that first cup of coffee, before you've had time to remember the societal context you're living within.

Those moments are always full of wonder. You notice things that you would normally never see, hear, smell, or think. There is a clarity and a newness in everything.

Those moments never last very long, a few minutes to maybe an hour. Then the noise of the day gets louder, and louder, until you are off on another crazy adventure, the moments forgotten until tomorrow morning.

Home Sweet Home

This week was spent at the Chatfield State Park. The views were great and once I got the hang of depositing quarters into the shower before the water stopped, the experience was great. I went for a couple of loooooooong rides, a hiking meander that took a few hours, and really enjoyed watching the sun set next to a campfire each night.

Unfortunately the Internet was raging so I had to also work. I was hoping for a relaxed week but that didn't happen. The client was finally able to get their vendor to build out a stable production environment. Delivery occurred during another Mock Data Conversion which was reason for the not so relaxed week. These conversions can be hell because you are basically setting a new system each time. They are a time consuming hell with periods of stressful "waiting". The PM wanted to push us to do 2 mock conversions so we would get more practice. This would have completely burnt out the team for very little gain. However, after meeting with the client they agreed that it wasn't necessary. At least the client is understanding, I'm still a little irked that the PM, who works for the same consulting company as I, would push for both conversions but I'm not surprised anymore.

I finally got my review for this current beast of a project. I was sort of disappointed, considering the level of effort I've had to sustain during the past 6-7 months. However, it did get me to start thinking of what I want to do in the future. I'm beginning to realize I need to start exploring my options.

On Friday, as I was leaving the park I noticed a pair of hot air balloons traversing the sky. It was during rush hour so it got me wondering if they were on their way to work. Could you imagine what that commute would be like? Drinking your Starbucks, munching on a bagel, and peacefully floating with the winds. I don't think you could ever have a bad if you started every morning with that kind of commute. Maybe you did have a bad day at work but on the return commute (yes, the wind would perfectly reverse itself at 5pm...my dream, not yours) you could carry a pail of water balloons. Instance bad day fix! ooooooooooooooo, yeah!

Fluffy Pillow

I've gotten soft. Today as I was working at various Starbucks, parking lots, and side streets, I realized that I feared the next phase of my plan. I've been stressing about going from "Club Level Hotel Dweller" back to where my soul fits, "Grubby Camper". First, it was too cold, then too wet, then too much hassle, blah,blah,blah. However, I'm a stubborn bastard when it really matters and I eventually made it to one of the metro area state parks.

Once I got out here, pitched the tent, and went for a 3 hour meander, I realized how foolish I had been. The amount of wildlife I saw amazed me considering how close this park is to the city. However, it was the all the different birds, with all their amazing songs, that captured me. I don't think I have heard that many singing birds since I was a kid living in the Midwest. I'm still in awe...

Too much stuff!

So it has finally come to pass that my current project is winding down. I've been asked to start working remotely when possible. This of course means that I need to find a place to live. Being "homeless" for the past couple of months has shown me the value of all my stuff currently in storage. Crap. All crap. I don't need hardly any of it. Except for the camping gear, bike, and hockey stuff, most of what I'm paying to store is just junk. The funny thing is that I can still remember when I had a 4 bedroom house full of crap, that I just couldn't part with. I used to stress about finding storage for all of it. HAHAHAHA. Now I barely fill a basic storage space and even that seems like way too much stuff!
Ahhh, maybe, just maybe I have broken consumer-slave mentality...ooooooooo

Wait, dammit, I keep forgetting that I need to find a place to live and then I'll need to buy matching towels, hand soap, kitchen utensils, houseplants, silverware set, scrubbies, cleaning supplies, linen, aaaaaaargh! I think I should postpone this as long as possible...lets see how many Sheraton points I still have.

Home, sweet home, for now...

360 degree view

Sometimes reality is a bit rougher than what's in your head...

...Today, I got up early cranked out some "critical" fixes, showered, and went into work. I was looking forward to writing some reviews for others and myself, kind of a low-key day. Nope, didn't happen. Got to work, had to help people get set up and productive, got called into a pointless meeting, and finally, after only a few hours in the office, I was asked why wasn't I finished with the reviews and other tasks. No thanks for fixing those critical defects. No thanks for getting everyone rocking on building out environments and fixing code. Nada. Well, my low-key day was gone and I with it.
I figured the only way I'd get anything done is if I went back to the hotel and camped out in the club lounge. The key to leaving the office at 3:30p is telling everyone (but your PM) that you are going back to the hotel to work. Of course, on the way back I got lulled into going for a bike ride because it was soooooooooo nice out. I figured I could bang out the tuna canyon ride in 2.5 hours and be back for some work this evening.
I was kind of feeling blah so I hoped that a ride would re-energize me. hahahahah. Within 5 miles I was honked at twice by anger motorists, upset that I wasn't riding on the sidewalk. At mile 7 I received a phone call but I couldn't answer before it went to voice mail. The gist of the voice mail was:

"Reviews need to be done during Off Hours" - This means not during the loooooooong normal working hours but during the time reserved for sleeping.
"You need to get the rest of your tasks finished quickly since there is visibility" - This is consultant-speak for hurry up and finish these tasks because it is making me look bad.

After listening to the voice mail, I stood along the roadside dumbfounded. Then it hit me, all the long hours, hard work, personal sacrifice, amounted to absolutely nothing. I realized that there was nothing I could do that would be good enough for this project. Nothing. With that I continued riding, at about half my previous speed.

Then at mile 12, a passing car dumped their beverage on me. I'm not one to get down too often but I was pretty close at that moment. Perfect. I love LA. The best thing was that I was starting to make the climb up Tuna Canyon. Well, ya know, sometimes you need to make decision, get mad or say "fuck it". I've learned getting mad doesn't do anything but piss me off so, so fuck it. I put a little more effort into my pedalling and sailed up the canyon. Got near the top and decided to take the access road (4 miles, 1-way to top). There is something about doing something completely pointless, like reaching the top of a hill (got to be under 5000 feet elevation so not a mountain peak), to help put a little focus in your head. Well maybe it is the ride down...hehe! Saw views, flowers, birds, and nice other bikers (weeeeee...she was smoking hot, thanks for the view! yeah I'm a pig ;) ). I don't think I was much below any speed limits until I coasted back into Burbank. By the time I reached the hotel, I had rode 41 miles, climbed at least 2500 ft, and decided to grab a beer after the ride instead of working.

Now I'm back to the state of mind I was in this morning. Oh that is just good fun!

Oh sleepytime

The night before last I got my typical sub-five hour nights rest before hopping on a plane for the holiday weekend. Yesterday I functioned "normally" until after dinner, when I started to really feel my general lack of sleep. I retired to the screened porch, opened the windows, piled a couple of thick blankets on the pullout, then fell asleep. I was out for 14 hours. Sometimes I would wake up, wondering things like "What is Mass Tagging doing? Should I do a back up? Blah, blah, blah". Then I would remember that I had made a promise to myself to not work this weekend so there was no point in worrying about shit. So I would go back to sleep, as the birds outside sang.

I am hoping to repeat this again tonight!

Definition

Why is something beautiful? This question popped into my head as I was riding through Burbank at 6:00 am this morning. The sun was just peaking over the distant mountains, creating a pinkish glow on all the buildings. The moment lasted only a few minutes but it was breathtaking. Everything seemed in a state of genuine beauty. All I could do was smile...

...then I got a phone call. The moment stopped and the beauty was gone, replaced with just another city full of ugly buildings.

I think beauty is solely defined internally. How can it be defined otherwise? I see beauty in certain things that others do not and others see beauty in things that I do not see. The constant is not the attribute of things but that the sense of beauty originates within people. The beauty I see is also not predefined by the thing and a value of beauty. There is also my own state that will "enhance" the beauty I see. Maybe enhance is a bad word since it implies a thing, might be better to say beauty = potential sense of beauty in thing + state of person. No...that's not it.

No Sleep Ride

Yesterday after only a couple hours of sleep, several hours of trying to be productive at work, and many cups of coffee...

http://www.bikely.com/maps/bike-path/Universal-Woodland-Hills-Loop

I went for a 45 mile ride. This route doesn't get interesting until after mile 2o. The first part of the loop goes through some questionable (although safe) areas. At one point, as I was trying to grab a drink from the water bottle it slipped out of my hand, into the middle of a 4 lane busy street. I quickly pulled over and stopped, expecting my bottle to be crushed under many wheels. To my surprise traffic had stopped, with a driver motioning me to pick up my water bottle. My sarcastic nature wondered if it was just a ploy to get me in the middle of the road to run me over but I put my faith in my fellow human being and retrieved my water bottle, waving thanks to the stopped motorists. Weird huh?

The rest of the route was uneventful except for the sunset and other scenery. Sorry but I only have a photo of the sunset to share.

Road Biking Fun

Ride, ride, ride...This week I brought my road bike since I wasn't getting enough mileage in Colorado. I purchased a HUGE travel case for my bike that looks like an old style Samsonite. When I checked it in, the person at the counter asked what was in it and I said, "shoes". I thought this was funny until he responded that it would cost $75 to check it, instead of the normal $50 bike check-in fee. So I showed him that is was a bike and hopefully learned my lesson not to joke with airline employees.

The reason I need to get as many miles in as possible, is that I have only a few short weeks to prepare my body for a bike race. The race is 62 miles over some rather large Front Range hills. Yeah, that's just good fun. So begins my dive into the world of biking in the LA area.

Some required gear:

1. Large Pole - This is handy when you need to push vehicles away from you. Drivers here tend to not need as much space between you and them since they are much more skilled.

2. Body Armor - This will be essential when you are finally hit by a driver in a hurry to some important meeting. Since in only 2 rides I have at least 2 close calls, I'd say the odds are pretty good that this will happen.

3. Rocket Launcher - Just in case the large pole isn't working and your body armor doesn't seem to be thick enough.

La Tuna Canyon Ride

This is an amazing ride into hills between Burbank and Glendale. The route has you climb 1500+ ft in elevation through the canyon. The scenery distracts you from the uphill so it is over before you know it. Just keep plugging away and you'll get to the top!

The canyon section is only around 5 miles but near 210 there is an access road that offers another 7 miles (RT) of scenic rolling hills. Don't be fooled by the initial insane grade of the paved trail, the road turns into hard packed dirt with a much more gradual grade with traditional switch-backs.

Link:

http://www.bikely.com/maps/bike-path/La-Tuna-Canyon-through-Glendale

Golf

As I was golfing today I noticed all the "For Sale" signs on the big boxes. Some were vacant and some had families roaming the grounds. I felt sorry for the vacant homes. What dreams fell apart in those boxes? Could you imagine telling your kids that they had to move because you lost the house? The lesson there is that the world is a cold, harsh place. Who wants to teach their kids that?

Last Day at Ski Condo

Today is my last day at the condo. I would definitely say it has been money well spent although the experience has been much different that I expected. I had hoped to spend many weekends up here skiing and partying but due to obligations at work I was unable to get up here until later in the season. The good thing about that is I wasn't "burnt out" on skiing and could really enjoy skiing in April.

Would I do this again? Maybe...

Evening Euphoria

What a difference a day makes!Yesterday I decided to leave the winter weather behind and go find some sun. On Vail Pass I began to regret my decision and almost turned around after enjoying the wintry scene. However, I kept going west. The snow turned to rain by the time I passed Vail, the rain turned to overcast by Avon, and right before
Glenwood Canyon the sun came out for a beautiful day! Each

time I visit this canyon I'm amazed by not only the natural beauty but also the engineering that suspended I-70 through the canyon. Since I was still pretty sore from Saturday's ride I kept the route to 38 miles. My ass still hurts this morning! Ouchie. I might wait until this afternoon to ride again.

By the time I returned back to the condo spring had returned. Of course I didn't really enjoy it since after I showered it was nap time.

Morning Decision

This morning, after a good ten hours of much needed sleep, I awoke to this view. The scene may not be as colorful as a sunrise over the lake but still just as beautiful. I had planned on biking Vail pass but that doesn't seem feasible today. So now my plans need to change...

Do I head to ABasin for some spring skiing with the chance of a inch or two of powder?

OR

Do I drive 90 minutes west to Grand Junction where the sun is out and temps are expected to be in the 70s, for another long bike ride?

Hmm...I think I'll savor my cup of Peets and watch the big, wet, and sloppy snow flakes fall, at least for a little while longer.

Work Life Balance my

All I do is work.

I am a whore.

I hate this.

There is no one to blame but myself.



When I first started programming I would get so excited every time I started on a new bit of code. The thrill of solving the seemingly endless problems during coding made the hours I spent working fly-by. I could spend entire day within the algorithms and logical flows that I wouldn't even notice where I was until my coworkers would start to pack up to go home. Depending on where I was in this process, I would either be happy or sad to go home, but regardless, I usually went home.



Today, I make any and every sacrifice to continue working. Why am I such a sick bastard? I dislike it when anything that I am associated with fails and I hate it when anything I am directly responsible for fails. I understand the whole "learn from your mistakes" mantra but that only makes sense to me if those are small bumps on the road to success. I have learned from failure that it sucks.

So what to do?
Well either I redefine what I beleive is important in life

OR

I rethink what defines success or failure for me.

To Blog or Not

A few days ago I read a friend's blog and found it quite informative/entertaining. Creating an online window into yourself seems like such an easy form of self expression. I wonder why it has been over a year since I last blogged?