Beware of the Hodagers

Well it is that time of the year again. The Hodag Country Music Festival begins next week. I can already smell the campfires, hear the music, feel the oppressive heat, and of course endure the hurt of Monday morning. I've never been a huge country music fan but this festival is so much fun that it doesn't really matter. The people make this a good time not the music. Of course, sitting over a cooler of beer doesn't make for a bad time either.

This year I have embarked on a rigorous training program to get myself in shape for the festivities. The training program that I have designed, after many hours of research, focuses on those activities that require the most concentration and physical stamina. This program has a patent pending so please me lots of money if you read any further:

1. Start listening to lots of country music to help ween me back into that genre.


2. Drink a lot more booze to make sure my tolerance is safely within the recommended range.


3. Begin walking around during the hottest times of the day to ensure that I'm acclimated to temperatures above 90 and that my sweat glands are in good working order.


4. Work on bouncing ping pong balls into cups to enhance my concentration and dexterity.


5. Start yelling 'Happy Hodag!' to random strangers and at awkward times to help increase my social acceptance.

For any Hodag Virgins please refer to their website for further information: http://www.hodag.com/.